sareini: "Made a note in my diary on the way here. Simply says, 'Bugger'." from Blackadder (Bugger)
Ugh, but this week has been a mess.

The first half of the week was taken up with my mind waging a minor war against me. I would be lying in bed trying to fall asleep and I'd hear "voices" coming from "downstairs". Whether these were actually noises from outside that I was mishearing, or hypnagogic hallucinations I don't know, but the result was the same - bolt awake and lie there trying to work out what was going on for several minutes each time. I ended up having to remind myself that, if there was really someone else in the house, the cats would be reacting to it and they were still lying, dead to the world, on the bed or in the bedroom doorway.

I had a moment of thinking Nick was still here as well, which was disorientating more than upsetting, but still not something I want to be happening regularly (because of the disorientation).

My anxiety's been particularly high and the one time I went out this week I couldn't stop myself from thinking that everyone was watching me.

And then finally I had no concentration for most of the week, so I couldn't really get anything done. So thank you, broken brain.

Then, over the last couple of days, I've been suffering from a lurgy. Headache, aches in all my limbs as though I'd just hiked up and down a mountain, a slight fever, a feeling of being utterly run down and stomach upsets. Hopefully I'm starting to come out of it now (in that I ache slightly less today) but I probably still need to catch up on a fair bit of sleep (which I couldn't do today as I had to sit around waiting for a delivery of cat litter all day that didn't arrive until 6:30pm).

***

Creativity-wise, this week I mainly worked on the Rock A-Z cross stitch. I took a day off today, because my arms already ached without adding the pain of RSI from holding them in the same position for hours while I stitched, but I've finished up to the letter O, so I'm at least halfway through. I figure it's going to take me a little over a week now to finish it altogether.

I've also been practicing sock skills. I'm enjoying using the magic loop and toe-up patterns for knitting socks, but I'm still having the problem of ladders on either side of the sock from the magic loop. So far I've not had much success in correcting this; I'm either going to have to keep looking till I find a way that works for me, or just resign myself to the fact that I'm going to be crocheting the sides together when I'm done.

Finally, I think I've at last come up with a workable idea for a video review series to go with my blog. I'd originally thought I was just going to do video reviews of movies I'd already reviewed, but I kept thinking that was somewhat redundant at best. Then today I remembered the old Masters of Horror TV series from 2005-2007, where a whole bunch of horror directors got together and each made an hour-long TV episode, doing (for the most part) whatever they wanted. I'd been thinking about doing a review marathon for them at some point anyway, and so it struck me that trying out a video review format would probably work with them without disrupting the movie review portion of the blog. So now the next step is to start to properly learn how to use Premiere Elements 14, which has been sitting on my computer waiting for a year now. And also to work out whether I have a microphone that works, or if the part of my computer tower that I plug my headset in is in need of fixing.
sareini: Organising gods is like herding cats into straight lines. They don't take naturally to it - American Gods (Organising Cats)
I've spent the past few days really focusing on the A-Z of rock cross stitch for my brother's birthday, and I'm now halfway through J (for Judas Priest). The biggest problem I'm coming up against at the moment is using the special gold and silver threads I bought for accents, because they're thicker than regular cross stitch threads and so I also have to use a bigger needle when working with them just to thread them through the eye. Which also makes it frustrating when I mess up and need to unpick a few stitches. Still, the end result looks good so it'll be worth it.

The burstitis/mystery hip injury continues to be a pain in the... well, hip. The Deep Freeze gel helps to an extent so I can move about without too much pain, but if I go too long without reapplying it I end up hobbling round the house emitting little cries of pain while Callie dances around my feet, working on her Underfoot skills. I'm aiming to get a doctor's appointment on Monday (I couldn't Thursday or Friday as I had deliveries due and it would be just my luck that they'd arrive while I was out).

I got a letter this morning from E.on - I thought it would be about the complaint I made on Monday and it was related... but no, it was actually a letter from them gently telling me off (but still telling me off) for not letting the engineer in the house when I was trying to catch my cat to go to the vet. So I ended up on hold for 40 minutes with them before getting through to a very nice CSR called Paula to complain again (because even if I wasn't so anxious as to not want to let people in like that, if someone is about to leave the house when you call you don't get to throw a strop at them and storm off). A formal complaint has now been filed, mainly just to put this on record as it's not like I was ever expecting to get anything more than a general apology, and we're going to make the arrangements to get a Smart Meter fitted so that no meter reader ever has to darken my door again. I just have to speak to the landlord and then clear the front room (possibly easier said than done). That'll lead to me calling the Greenfields Centre again on Monday to see if I can speak to one of the people who are covering for my social worker while she's recovering from whatever terrible lurgy has afflicted her, because they're always offering me help with organising and cleaning the house.

Movie reviews for the week:

Martin (1978) - George A Romero's personal favourite of all his films.
Without Warning (1980) - Martin Landau stars in the film that inspired Predator
Without Warning (1994) - War of the Worlds-inspired TV movie that I think is pretty underrated.

Also, three times this week I've gone to the corner shop to buy milk for my cereal, then forgotten to buy it. Where is my helper monkey?

Burstitis

Jul. 19th, 2017 06:06 pm
sareini: (doctor)
I had plans for not going anywhere for the rest of the week, I really did. But as the saying goes, "Life is what happens when you're making other plans."

For the past couple of weeks or so I've been having a pain in my right hip. At first I thought it was down to sitting in a new chair at the computer, and did my best to change my posture to try to fix the problem. Plus, it only seemed to occur when I was getting up from the chair, so I thought little of it. But it didn't go away, and started getting worse - staying around for longer and happening when I turned over in bed or walked up or down the stairs. And the pain got worse as well.

I did some research on the internet, consulting Doctor Google, and came to the conclusion that it was most likely a case of Burstitis of the hip - annoying, certainly, but by no means life-threatening and treatable with painkillers. At some point, I told myself, I would brave the nightmare of the telephone system that my GP uses for appointments and get it looked at, but there was no rush.

...at least there was no rush until today, when I woke up to pain so bad whenever I did anything but sit that I was almost being sick or falling over, and painkillers were doing nothing. There was no way to get a doctor's appointment (I tried registering online and got told I could book one appointment online, but then it told me I couldn't book an appointment until I'd had an appointment, thus becoming a Mobius Appointment System) for at least three weeks, and I wasn't going to go to a walk-in centre or worse, A&E for something that, as painful as it was, wasn't going to kill me any time soon, so there was only one option left to me.

Hobble into town (or at least to the bus stop) and go to Boots the Pharmacist for some painkilling gel.

Thankfully the journey was more or less easy and I got myself a large tube of Deep Freeze gel, and thank Eris and all the little Discordian saints, it works! Not 100%, but enough that I can move around without so much pain that I honestly think I'm going to be sick with it. I've had plantar fasciitis, sciatica and a bladder and kidney infection that have all had me on bed rest for a week or more with the pain, and this hip pain was pretty damn close to them. Hopefully the gel will keep the pain levels down till I can see an actual doctor (fun times calling at 8am and praying to beat the rush of everyone else who needs an appointment as well).

I had plans to watch a dodgy 1980 sci-fi horror movie today and review it as well. Instead I've been watching mocked-up Emergency Broadcast videos and scaring myself half to death instead (I should explain all that in another post).
sareini: (tired)
9. A song that makes you happy
Not much explanation here )

10. A song that makes you sad
A little more explanation here )

The past couple of days have been annoying because I've been suffering from thunderstorm headaches a lot. My thunderstorm headaches often are like mini-migraines; focusing on the area above and behind my right eye so I get vision problems along with the pain. My usual treatment for them is to go lie down and take a nap till they hopefully go away rather than take painkillers, but things aren't helped when the promised thunderstorms never actually arrive and the pressure stays low and the weather stays humid, and my head stays painful.

But I managed to drag myself out of the house this evening and went to Tesco's to do some food shopping. I even treated myself with some coconut chunks (which I'll have to keep from Lily as she likes the taste of coconut) and a few other things. I also got a Robinsons "Refresh'D" Raspberry and Apple drink but I was not impressed. I don't know if it's just me, but every time I've tried something of Robinsons it's just tasted like flavoured liquid plastic to me, which is kind of ironic really.
sareini: (hiding)
According to the AccuWeather app on my phone, right now it is 25 degrees Celcius. For most of the day it has been 23 degrees C.

I am not one of those people who enjoys the heat. For one thing, I have severe hay fever that's been a constant companion for all my life (my brother is the same; he was once offered immunotherapy - basically they wanted to inject him with small amounts of pollen daily - for his because we're both so bad with it). It can start as early as March and be with me all the way to October or even November. Eyes itch, twitch, sting and swell shut; nose dries up so badly it bleeds spontaneously and itches, and the roof of my mouth and the back of my throat itch painfully, among other symptoms. So that's one reason to avoid going outside in this weather I am basically allergic to ALL THE POLLEN. ALL OF IT.

Secondly, I am possessed of a skin type that can be best described as "translucent". One of the reasons I don't bother with makeup is that even the palest foundation is usually still a few shades darker than my skin. Which wouldn't be that bad, except that I also don't feel it when I burn. I just go from 0 to lobster without any warning signs. And skin cancer runs in my family (I was 8 or 9 before I discovered that you don't automatically have to have all your moles removed when you reach a certain age. My mother was of the same skin type, and had grown up in the 40s and 50s on a beach in Ireland, back when they didn't know about the dangers of too much sun, so when I was growing up she was usually at the dermatologist clinic every six months or so to have another dodgy mole removed.) so I like to take precautions now. Generally those precautions are, "Don't leave the house in daylight unless you have to."

The cats have been enjoying the sun and the heat though. Lily has been back and forth on my desk in front of a window all day, lying on my keyboard and preventing me from doing very much while she suns herself. So at least someone is enjoying themselves.

Ugh.

May. 23rd, 2017 10:05 pm
sareini: "Do not fuck with Cthulhu" (Cthulhu)
I woke up this morning at 5am with bile in my mouth and literally coming out of my nose. Damn acid reflux. I've not suffered that in months, and certainly never that bad. And of course, after I'd dealt with it I wasn't feeling too well and so I stayed in bed for the rest of the morning.

So really the day started as it meant to go on, what with news of shitgibbons blowing up children at concerts, Sir Roger Moore dying at 89, the local ATM having a "moment" and telling me my bank had cancelled my card (it hadn't), and meeting someone I hadn't seen from before Nick died and having to give them the news. So I decided to retreat from the world again and started playing EVE Online again, now that there's a free option.

EVE Online appeals to me for the strangest reasons - I like the repetitive tasks like mining and exploration/scanning. They soothe me. Plus I can do things like knitting and crochet and watching movies while playing. Last time I played was just before Nick died though, and while I have a character who's very well kitted out for those things, I haven't decided if I'm coming back properly and if I want to spend money to play yet (I think some of her stuff requires a paid account). Plus I'm not quite ready to reconnect with my old corp just yet. So I created a new character to play around with. Her name?

Incontinentia Buttox.

I can't wait till the CSR who messages every new player within two days of them starting gets to me and sees that name. Hopefully they get the reference. If not I'll have to name a ship "Welese Woderick".
sareini: (cat)
I woke up this morning to find Callie licking my closed eyes. Apparently my role in life now is to be a salt lick for a kitten. It's the hay fever, of course; now that it's May and the weather is grudgingly admitting that it's springtime the pollens are really getting started, and of course I was already allergic to all of them even before the news of "super pollens" (pollens that have mixed with diesel fuels to be extra sticky in the mucous membranes) hit last week. Already my nose is getting runnier, my eyes more sore and prone to sticking closed in the morning (cat licks aside) and most annoyingly, the roof of my mouth itches more and more of the time. At least my life as it currently is minimises my contact with random free-floating pollen in the outside world.

In other news, I managed to be relatively productive around the house today. Did some small amount of tidying, typed up and published a review for the movie blog (The Void, in case you were wondering) and got as far as I currently can with the Shawl of Secrets. I'm now at the point where I have to buy the missing ball of yarn before I can continue, and depending on how things go on Thursday (another vet visit for Lily) will determine whether I can get that this week or at the end of the month. Still, it's a good thing it's not able to distract me right now, as I still have to finish that cardigan for my niece.

Possible Criminal Minds spoilers if you've not seen Season 11 yet )

Knitted shawl in browns, reds, oranges, yellows and greens
sareini: default (chocolate)
I went shopping in the daytime today.

That probably doesn't sound like too big an accomplishment; like it would be on par with "successfully posting a letter" or "having a telephone conversation with someone you vaguely know", but it's a pretty big one for me. Even before Nick's death and my complete breakdown and withdrawl from society, I was pretty socially avoidant and anxious about crowds, so now it's more like throwing myself willingly into a vat of acid with acid-proof sharks swimming around in it.

Normally, if I have to do any grocery shopping that can't be done at the corner shop 100m from my house, I do it in the middle of the night. After all, what's the point of having a 24-hour Tesco's in the area if you're not going to go shopping at 3am? Also it's quiet, there are very few other shoppers around, you don't have to get in a queue for perusing the Clearance shelves and the staff usually play classic rock or party tunes to keep themselves awake as they stock shelves. For someone like me, it's all in all a good time for shopping.

But at the weekends Tesco's closes at midnight on Saturdays because of the Sunday Trading Laws (bah) and so when I realised I needed to go shopping today I was faced with a decision - either wait until the early hours of Monday morning or go during the daytime today. In the end I decided I didn't want to wait. Also I needed batteries.

For me, going out at any time is fraught with anxiety, but daytime is the worst. There's too many people around, and I constantly feel that they're all looking at me, judging me, thinking and talking about me, mocking me. It doesn't help that I've currently got what would be several days' beard growth on a man adorning my face, of which I'm horribly self-conscious about but also too depressed to do anything about (it's a vicious circle) And supermarkets are always crowded in the daytime, especially at weekends. If I could I'd keep my eyes glued to the floor the entire time I was there so as not to make eye contact with anyone for even a second, but that way leads to being run over by a trolley. On the other hand, I'm probably one of the few shoppers who actually notices the people in the disability scooters. I'm not good in the taxi journeys there and back, either; too much traffic on the road for one, and any vehicle that comes too close (in my mind) to the car makes me flinch away from the side as though it's about to come through the door to punch me; and I live in constant fear that the taxi driver will try to start a conversation with me - especially if it's a driver who's picked us up in the past, because they inevitably ask where Nick is and then things get even more awkward.

But I made it through. I had to wait at the Clearance shelves for about five minutes because a woman with quite obvious OCD was there arranging everything on the shelves according to food type and size (not a shop worker, just a customer), but I can understand that urge and it seemed to be making her happy. I managed to not break down and buy a 12-box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts (even though they had new Cookie Dough-filled ones) and bought foods that, when combined with other foods, will make complete meals and will last me a good while before I need to buy more. I also bought foods to snack on while watching stuff on the TV. And I bought the cats a treat of Sheba Tuna with Prawns, which was well-received.

Forgot to buy the batteries though.
sareini: default ("bad century")
Six years. It's been a while. Stuff's happened, obviously, since I was last here.

Nick died. November 17 2015 - so exactly 4 months ago. I got woken up at 4am by the cats biting my elbow (well, Lily was biting as Cracker has no teeth), heard the silence of the house and realised it was not a good silence, went to his room and found him dead in bed. Bronchopneumonia and sepsis, it turned out to be. He'd had a cough for several weeks but we'd thought nothing of it, mainly because of an advert that had been on TV a couple of years previously that went, "Had a cough for more than a few weeks? It could be CANCER!" and so whenever I mentioned the cough we'd laugh about that and he'd tell me it was nothing serious. All the other symptoms were masked by the ridiculous amount of painkillers Nick needed to take on a daily basis to do things like get out of bed and move about - he was on 40mg of morphine at the end because of the state of his knees and back. So neither of us knew anything until it was way too late for anything to be done.

It was very odd, telling his friends and family that he had died and then immediately following it up with, "He didn't kill himself." Because for the last few years, Nick's mental problems had been getting the better of him as well. I'd been his full-time carer for several years at that point, and it's pretty safe to say that looking after him was really the only thing that was keeping me going day-to-day. Because after his death I more or less had a complete mental breakdown myself and am now quite nearly as crazy as he was, albeit with my own spin on things. I don't leave the house very much any more, talk to anyone or do very much, because the outside world is really just too big and scary and overwhelming to deal with now. And it has far too many people.

So it's just me and the cats now. And it's two new cats too. Sandy sadly died in 2011 of stomach cancer, and Suki followed him 3 months later of old age and just being lonely. So now I have Lily, who's a ginger flump who barely makes a sound except when she's playing, but who loves to climb up onto the sofa or bed with me and snuggle and lick my nose (and occasionally nip it as a game). She's 12 now, but she neither looks it nor acts like it, which is a good thing as I don't think I could cope with losing anyone else for a good while. The other cat is Cracker, who we got about 6 months after Lily because she was getting a little bit too flump-y and we hoped that a playmate might help her lose some weight. Cracker is a skinny black cat with no teeth and inflammatory bowel disease, which means she uses the litter box a lot- hence her full title sometimes being Cracker the Amazing Pooping Cat. She came from a house with 21 other cats after being rescued from the streets, which made her the friendliest cat in the world, albeit with a lack of understanding about personal space that's remarkable, even for cats, and also one of the most anxious. She doesn't like being on her own - even more so now that it's just the three of us, and howls her displeasure if she finds herself alone in a room for more than 1o minutes.

I'm at university again, this time studying Creative Writing part-time. Well, that's the theory anyway, as I'm currently more or less on extenuating circumstances leave while I try to get myself back on my feet. My tutors are all very understanding, actually, as apparently I'm quite good at my course and they want to keep me on, but it's still difficult to get into classes when I can't face going out and I've got no money to do so anyway. Because of course, with being completely snooker loopy comes the fun of being unable to work and having to claim disability benefits... but we'll go into the fun and games of that in another post. Just rest assured that it's not really possible to live on £73 a week when £50 of that goes on heating and electricity, and that if it wasn't for the help of others I wouldn't have lasted this long.

I decided to start posting here again because I need somewhere to put my thoughts down, and because this is, in theory at least, a way in which I can reach out to other people in some semblance of socialisation. Because most days, other than the cats and my brother who calls every day, I don't talk to anyone at all, and that's probably not helping my mental state. I'm going to try to post something every day, even if it comes down to, "Still here, still not doing much but watching twitch.tv on the sofa." because at least I'm trying then.

Also, I can play with all my icons.
sareini: default (normal people...)
I was recently provided with a link to a website called Dyscalculia Forum. I think most people already know that I have dyscalculia, also known as numerical dyslexia. I wasn't diagnosed until I was in university - before that, everyone just thought I had really bad math skills. I'd also been aware of the fact that there were very few dyscalculaics (is that a word?) around - or at least, ones who knew that they were, in fact dyscalculaics.

Anyway, I had a look round the site, and found it very interesting. One part that I found particularly interesting was their "symptoms" page - there are considerably more symptoms than I'd known about (and of course, reading the list convinces you that you've got all the symptoms...)

Symptoms below here... )

Which makes 8 or 9 out of 11, I think...

Bleh.

Dec. 18th, 2008 01:04 am
sareini: default (discworld - mountains of madness)
I had to go to the doctor's today. The "feeling sick" that I had at the beginning of the week didn't go away, and instead was joined by constant trips to the bathroom, headaches, nausea, light-headedness and, this morning, rather excruciating stomach pain that made it very difficult, if not impossible, to work. the NHS Direct website didn't, for once, tell me to book a coffin and have a dance band ready to play Abide With Me, but they did suggest calling the helpline proper. Who promptly told me to get an appointment to see my doctor.

So down I went, at 5pm, to luckily see the best doctor in the surgery. After breaking his electronic thermometer and blood pressure machines, he told me that I had a fever of about 39-40 degrees celsius (that's about 102 degrees fahrenheit), which would neatly explain the light-headedness at any rate, and in general I had a moderate case of gastroenteritis.

Nick was disappointed; he was certain it would be kidney stones.

***

While I was out, I saw a billboard for the Twilight movie, which is opening over here on Friday. On the left-hand corner are Bella and Edward, with Edward kind of looming over Bella and glaring out at onlookers with dark circles under his eyes and a look that I think the publicists were hoping would portray intensity, brooding and/or attractive emo-ness. Instead, he looked like he belonged on Crimewatch UK in their Most Wanted Faces section - "Have you seen this vampite stalker?"

sigh. Sparkly vampires. What next?
sareini: default (Angry Princess (one))
So, for a few days now Nick has been having problems with his eyes which we assumed were hay fever related - not a big stretch seeing as he was sneezing non-stop as well, and it's that time of year. His eyes were incredibly itchy, and try as he might he just couldn't stop rubbing them. Clarityn also did nothing for him (although it did stop the sneezing).

Yesterday I'm woken at the ungodly hour of half one in the afternoon (shut up, I was up all night doing an STF with friends) by the sound of Nick in obvious pain in the bathroom. After a few minutes he comes through and asks if I'd mind going into town for him and getting him an eye bath as his left eye is rather painful.

Read on for the gruesome details! )

*sigh*

May. 11th, 2008 04:41 pm
sareini: default ("bad century")
I was going to post about things like the weather and one of my new all-time favourite movies here, but instead I have to go to the local A&E with Nick now, because Nick's hay fever has gotten him so bad that one of his eyes (yes, the actual eyeball) has swollen up (along with the rest of the surrounding area) and currently looks like he has a huge blood blister on his eyeball that's about to pop.

So instead you can hear me rant at great length about my local healthcare system when I get back.

Oh, and it's too bloody hot.
sareini: default (ME Awareness)
First off, the good news:

'Seven genetic types of ME' found

This is obviously bloody marvelous news. One of the biggest problems with treating CFS/ME has always been that, because there isn't a specific way of testing of it or diagnosing it (other than, "We've looked at everything else and come up with nothing, so let's say you have ME," which is how I was diagnosed), it's also pretty much impossible to treat. After all, if you don't know what's causing it how can you treat it? But this could pretty much start the ball rolling on getting further insights into the causes of CFS/ME, and as a consequence how to treat it.

Oh, and it's a score against the doctors and the like who kept on insisting it was "all in the mind".

In more general health news... Hay fever season is in full flow in our house. Nick has it, I have it and poor Jelli has it. The only one not suffering is Mac, and even he jumps when one of us sneezes.

All three of us have the itchy faces and skin - poor Jelli is the worst, as she ends up scratching herself so hard she makes herself bleed and gouges tufts of fur off her jawline. On the other hand, she still looks so much better than she did two years ago when we first met her and she was living outside and getting pwned by the pollen count. We're thinking we're going to have to take her to the vets to see if they can give hay fever stuff to cats (poor thing'll probably have to have an injection, but we're hoping that if it comes to that she won't go on a killing spree; besides, the last time we took her to the vets she was a little angel - surprisingly - and the worst thing she did was passively-aggressivly shed on the exam table).

Nick was pretty bad until a couple of days ago, when I went and got him some Clarityn. Before that, he was having sneezing fits that were lasting for five minutes at a time, and his eyes were threatening to swell shut. On the plus side, we think he's only allergic to the pollon that's about at this time of year (as opposed to me, who reacts to it all) so hopefully that should die down in a few weeks.

As for me... my face and arms itch. The membranes in my nose and the roof of my mouth have dried out and are itching. My eyes are sore and stinging. But all of these are relatively minor compared to my biggest hay fever symptom - I can't breathe. Yes, the pollen is now officially trying to suffocate me, and I get to spend half my day struggling to take a full breath. I know I need to go to the doctors with this, and I intend to try tomorrow, but the problem is that, unless I get a taxi, I have to walk - past grass and flowers and trees and through air full of the stuff that's apparently choking me to death. It's a Catch-22.

Scares

Sep. 4th, 2007 06:12 pm
sareini: default (cthulhu)
I nearly scared the living daylights out of Nick the other day.

Little-known fact about me: I sleepwalk. Not in the 'normal' way, mind, where people invariably seem to end up stepping out of third-floor windows and the like and landing without a scratch (because if I ever did do that I'd probably land on something sharp or on fire or similar), but in a way that involves me talking coherently in my sleep (none of that "all blueberries to the raspberry hats!" stuff - apparently I tell jokes that make sense - even if they aren't all that funny - and discuss the day's events with people), sitting up and sometimes getting up and moving around my room doing small things. I used to regularly turn off my alarm clock in the mornings, for example, despite the fact that to do so I had to get out of bed, cross to the far end of the room, get down on my knees and crawl under a set of bureau drawers to do so, and then get back into bed. When I worked with Nightline I even answered the phone in my sleep on a couple of occasions, which left me very confused when I would actually wake up several seconds later and not know what I was doing.

So, Sunday morning, Nick is passing by my room and he thinks I'm awake because I'm moving around in bed in an "I'm awake" kind of way. So he decides to tell me that we're on the emergency credit on the electricity meter.

Since everyone knows what usually happens when you wake a sleepwalker, I'm sure many of you can see where this is going.

All I remember is a vague memory of doing something in bed, and then waking up with a scream when Nick spoke to me (although Nick says it was more of a yelp). I was pretty distressed when I woke up, and more than a little confused, although possibly not as much as Nick. Poor guy had completely forgotten that I sleepwalk (mainly because I don't do so in the 'traditional' way) and was wondering why I was screaming at him.

***

Of course, that meant that karma had to get its own back on me yesterday.

I was on Nick's computer (mine is having conniptions if it's on for more than a few hours at the moment withe the overheating problem) and the cats are sitting in the room with me. I feel a strange tickling feeling on my right arm, and look down to see what it is.

A spider with a leg-and-body diameter of about two inches is scuttling up my upper arm. And I don't like any spider more than about half a centimeter long.

Cue a screech from me, combined with leaping up and shaking my arm (and the rest of my body) like I had St. Vitus' Dance to get the damn thing off me.

The cats just sat and watched me with interest (why was the human doing that silly dance?). I have therefore fired them until they fulfill their roles as Official Spider-Catchers of the House once more. And even now I keep looking down at the floor around me when I'm in Nick's room (like right now) to check for spiders.

There's one watching me right now, actually. It's only about an inch across in total, but it had better stay the hell away anyway.

Ow.

Aug. 30th, 2007 03:15 pm
sareini: default ("bad century")
My left heel is hamburger. I have a headache. For some unknown reason, my legs were utter agony when I got in from work last night - really, I couldn't sleep for hours because they were so bad. I really should have gotten up for some painkillers, but... I was just trying to sleep (plus I wasn't sure my legs would actually support me).

Gods, but I need a job where I can sit down to work (sitting on the floor to count paint cans and screwdrivers doesn't count).
sareini: default (ME Awareness)
Well, this took long enough...

Treat ME more seriously, doctors ordered

Although this is a long time in coming, my cynical self with way too much experience of the health care system in this country isn't going to be holding her breath over this. For one, I expect that there'll still be a goodly number of doctors who choose to continue to ignore these and all the other guidelines (sad fact: once a GP has qualified, he doesn't have to do anything else to keep 'up-to-date' with changes in the medical field. This can lead to cases of doctors with seriously outdated knowledge of things like HiV and AIDS, never mind ME/CFS) - because really, if they've been ignoring the World Health Organisation's definition they're probably not going to pay much attention to this one either.

Secondly, the NICE guidelines still seem to be placing a little too much emphasis on GET and CBT (Graded Exercise Therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) as viable treatments for ME. The problem is that these stategies don't work for everyone (CBT, for example, was never going to work with me because my depression was a seperate condition to the ME), and yet we're just told we're not trying when we point this out.

Still, it's a start, I guess...
sareini: default ("We're Fucked!")
Ok.

For the most part, I've been keeping pretty quiet about the whole "inappropriate content" clusterfuck going on right now. This is for several reasons, which include, "I think I would have way too much to say about media censorship and would end up writing an essay" and "I'd probably end up mocking some of the more... hysterical posters in all of this, which wouldn't really help".

But I'm going to say something now, after someone on my Friends list pointed out what LJ have said regarding "pro-ana" (that's "pro-anaorexia") communities on their site.

"...it's not illegal to aspire to be thin. It's not against the ToS to give people bad advice."

And now for a cut, in case some people find what I'm going to say upsetting... )

An Ow Post

Jul. 23rd, 2007 05:33 pm
sareini: default (B5 - karma)
A couple of weeks ago, my chair collapsed. Just like that. One minute I was just sitting at my computer, RPing at a CoH beach party, and the next I'm sprawled on the floor with my head against the door and my right foot bent in an interesting position. One of the chair legs had just... snapped off, with no warning whatsoever.

I was okay though (or so it seemed) and so after the initial shock I picked myself up, called Nick and took the other chair from downstairs. And all was well.

Except...

Since then the last two toes on my right foot have been hurting. They're not bruised, but they hurt like they are, and it's been gradually been getting worse as things have gone on. Yesterday evening I started to harbour the suspicion that I might have broken one or both of the toes and just not have noticed (this is actually depressingly normal for me, as over the course of my life I've broken nearly every one of my toes - some of them twice).

The problem here is that, because of whatever I've done to my toes, I've been unconsciously compensating for them since then. And today it's gotten to the point where it's very painful to put any weight on my right foot - when I do, I get stabbing, shooting pains right in the ball-and-socket joint that connects foot and ankle.

Crap.

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