sareini: default (Blogathon)
[Note: This is a sticky post. The actual Blogathon posts are to be found below this one. Just scroll on down.]

If you've wandered onto this blog at some point during July 2007, particularly between the 28th and 29th, you're most likely here because of Blogathon. Or you could have been here before, but are wondering just what in the blue hell is going on with all the posts. This post is (theoretically) supposed to answer those questions.

So, what is Blogathon anyway? )

Who are you blogging for, then? )

What are you going to be doing during this Blogathon? )
sareini: default (Discworld - Ibid)
Because [ profile] thorne1966 has said she has fun trying to figure them out, I now present the full 48 quotes that Nick came up with for people to try to figure out. Anyone and everyone (apart from Nick, as he was the one who came up with them, of course)is welcome to jump in and guess where they came from and who said them...

48 quotes behind the cut! )

sareini: default (Blogathon)
Sadly, I think this is going to be my last post for this year's Blogathon. My migraine has hit and I'm losing the sight in my right eye as usual, which would make typing difficult on its own even without feeling like someone's trying to trepan my skull from the inside.

Bah. I guess there has to be a bad year every once in a while. I guess I'll just have to start planning for next year now...

Anyway, to go out with a bang, let's look at another of my favourite movies. And why is it one of my favourite movies?

George Cloony. Salma Heyek. Tom Savini. Aztec vampires running a biker bar and strip club. How can anyone not like this movie?

Good luck to everyone else, and good night. Hopefully everyone else has better luck than I've had today... (yes, i am still annoyed at the bloody internet, because I think if that hadn't happened I'd be okay now...)
sareini: default (Blackadder - Perversity)
Still got the headache-migraine thing.

So, last year I reviewed Creep as part of the Blogathon, and this year I'm reviewing the director's second film.

A group of employees for a munitions/weapons manufacturing company are travelling round Europe on what seems to be a combination of travelling sales conference and reward for good sales. Unfortunatly, they end up lost in the woods of some Eastern European country and end up mistaking a deserted house for the hotel they're meant to be staying at. Only the house isn't deserted - it's home to a group of rather deranged former Special Forces men, who dislike unexpected visitors so much that they have human-hand pie in the freezer, sniper platforms in the trees and a whole clearing full of bear traps, among other things.

This is actually quite an amusing film, in an utterly black sort of way. It's not as viscerally disturbing as Creep was, although it does have its moments - the bear trap scene being one of them - and it does do its best to protray the characters as realistically as possible when you consider that most o them are also supposed to be stereotypes of the types of co-workers you might love to hate. On the other hand, it also tries to have too much backstory which neither seems to pay off or even seem to be necessary in the end...
sareini: default (Blackadder - Bugger)
This is really one of the movies that everyone should think of when they think of 80s horror - and not just for the hair and the clothes. Teenager Charlie starts to suspect that his new neighbour is actually a vampire (who's feeding off hookers but who also seems to have an interestingly homo-erotic relationship with his - for lack of a better term - Renfield) and tries to get the help of an aging horror host, who's obviously a pastiche of the vampire hunters of the 70s movies and who's played perfectly by Roddy McDowell.

What makes Fright Night stand out from the oh-so-many vampire flicks of the 80s (and in general) is the fach that it really doesn't seem to make a distinction between genders. Vampires have always been inherently sexual (that whole blood-sucking thing as a metaphor as old as the hills, y'know), but more often than not they're also protrayed as strictly heterosexual as well, which doesn't really make sense. Plus, to even have suggestions of homosexuality like that in an 80s horror were pretty brave and groundbreaking too...
sareini: default (Default)
Ok, this is not my 24 hours. First the bloody internet goes down, and now I start to get a migraine. At least, that's what it feels like. And if it is, I'll really have to stop, because my two options for migraines are take the pain medication I have for them which knocks me out for hours with no recourse, or lie in a darkened and quiet room until the pain goes away.

I'll just have to see how things go.

Anyway. The Omen is one of the great classics of English horror, and it does it in a remarkably bloodless fashion (apart from, of course, David Warner's spectacular demise). The story is simple yet complex: the American ambassador to Britain begind to suspect that his son, whom he had secretly adopted when his wife delivered their child stillborn, is actually the son of the Devil.

The movie builds slowly, and plays its revelations subtle at first, but as the film progresses they grow, so that by the end we the viewer knows that the only explanation is that little Damien Thorn is indeed the AntiChrist and needs to be dealt with... but at the same time, it's a traditional moral dilemma.

It's a shame they had to remake it, really (although I may be biased there as my views on remakes should be well-known by now).
sareini: default ('born naughty')
This movie is really a dream movie for me. Where else could I possibly indulge my love of bad horror combined with my interest in wrestling, and in particular one wrestler who really does deserve the "Taking One For the Team" award for some of the storylines he's been saddled with over the years.

Yes, See No Evil was WWE Entertainment's first foray into the movie business, and they used the imposing presence of Kane (Glen Jacobs) to sell the movie as much as they could.

The plot is simple - Kane plays Jacob Goodnight, a 7-foot tall reclusive psychopath with a hole in his head and some very sharp fingernails, which he uses to pull people's eyes out with because he's got a fascination for them. He's been hiding out in a dilapidated old hotel for a few years since a cop put that hole in his head (and in return, Goodnight took off the cop's forearm with one axe swing, which is pretty impressive), until said cop turns up to help renovate the place with a bunch of juvinile delinquents with no redeeming features whatsoever. Trust me, you'll be cheering on Goodnight in this one. Unlike the director, who uses a few too many (as in, all of the) musiv video tricks to make things look 'interesting' and actually makes them look kind of dumb.

Two little facts: Of the three movies the WWE have produced and released, this one was made for the least amount of money and pimped the least. It was also the only commercial success (although part of that has to be due to the fact that no-one in their right minds would want to sit through an entire 90 minutes of John Cena).

Also, rumour has it that Vince McMahon originally wanted a scene where Goodnight... uhm, 'pleasures himself' on-camera. And Goodnight was to have a 36"... 'pleasure stick'. Like I said, Glen Jacobs: Taking one for the team since 1997.
sareini: default (Bast)
I am a little sad. It appears that I am now off the blog list and surfing frame, which I guess means my internet outage did do for me, but I haven't received an e-mail or anything about it... Ah well. I'll see what happens.

Anyway. Rockula. A 400-year-old vampire has to save his true love - who is reincarnated every 21 or so years - from meeting her end at the hands of a pirate with a rhinestone pegleg wielding a giant hambone. He is assisted in this endeavour by his mad mother, her tutu-wearing wrestler boyfriend and his reflection, which seems to think it's Elvis. And it's a musical.

And you want to know what the really surprising thing is? I'd never heard of this film till Nick introduced me to it. Yes, this is one of my boyfriend's favourite films...
sareini: default (B5 - Zog)
When I've finished this entry, I get to go downstairs and rescue my Sweet Chili Chicken pizza from the oven. Nomnomnom.

Now, this particular movie holds a special place in my heart, because it was the very first horror movie I ever saw (unless you count Stephen King's Cat's Eye, which I saw part of by accident when I was six. It was... interesting.) I was 11, and I begged my mother for hours to let me watch it. She eventually relented, but only after telling me that she would turn it off if I got scared.

She spent most of the movie hiding her face behind a cushion. I loved it.

So, after a strange meteor shower that can be seen everywhere, a man wakes up to find that, as one of the few people who didn't watch said shower, he is now one of the few people left on the planet who can still see. And if that wsn't bad enough, there are giant walking killer plants stumbling around the place, killing all the fleshbags with swings of their stinging tentacles or stems or what-have-you.

It's a 1960s movie, and it is dated, sure - and it's highly unlikely to scare anyone nowadays, unless they've got a deep-rooted fear of their broccoli coming to get them - but in terms of originality and the like, it's right up there with the greats.
sareini: default (B5 - socks)
Last year when I was doing the Blogathon, I had my cat, Jelli, to keep me company (we'd only had her a month - she'd been a stray living in our area who we'd befriended and who'd decided to move in with us, and at the time we thought she was pregnant when she wasn't, so it was an interesting time). This year, Jelli is asleep in the office downstairs, but I have my other cat, Mac the overgrown kitten, to keep me company. He periodically wanders into the room and me-owls at me to get me to give him scritches. Then he gets bored and tries to climb into my bin.

Mac is not the brightest cat around.

Anyway, Event Horizon, or as we call it in this house, Hellraiser... In... Space! (and a point to anyonw who gets that obscure TV refeence!) It is the future, which means we have big spaceships, but not too far in the future so everyone still dresses reasonably normally. One such big spaceship was the Event Horizon which disappeared on it's maiden voyage several years back. Now it's back, and Sam Neill and Laurence Fishburne have to try to figure out what happened.

This film would have been so much better if they'd left off the final 10-fifteen minutes and left us with a little more mystery as to what was going on. I mean, the first three-quarters of the film are great, a cross between a haunted house in space and (yes, you guessed it) Hellraiser, but the end... Yeah. Something of a letdown, I'm afraid.
sareini: default (B5 - karma)
...I think we broke the BlogExplosion blogathon radio thing. I was listening it it, then it just cut out and now I just get a "this station is not available" message. So I'm connected to the Cape now instead.

And yes, it's the first proper zombie film of the 'thon. Good old Lucio Fulci, he always delivers.

A boat drifts into a New York harbour, seemingly deserted - except for a large zombie that's shambling round on it. He lunches on a cop before being pitched into the water, and then the daughter of the boat's owner heads off to the Carribean island where he was last with a journalist to find out what's going on. And what's going on is zombies, of course.

Really, that's all the plot you need to know, because this is a set-piece movie. There's the 'naked woman vs shark vs underwater zombie scene' (and spare a thought for the poor stuntman who had to do that scene, which included him grappling a real shark and biting it), there's the '16th century mouldy Conquistadors rise from the grave for a light snack' scene, and of course there's the 'attractive woman get's her eyeball pierced on a 13" wooden splinter' scene. Coherent plot just isn't necessary when you've got stuff like this to hold your audience's attention.
sareini: default (B5 - badgers)
Ok, as far as I can tell there are at least some gods out there who are taking an interest in what I'm doing, because I'm still listed as participating and haven't had an e-mail telling me otherwise. So I'm just going to post like a fiend and catch up, because dammit, I've done this for two years already and I'm not going to let Richard Branson stop me this year!

And, you know, solidarity, I'll feel bad if I give up now even if I'm not technically eligible any more, the usual...

So anyway, Nightmares... has the very dubious pleasure of not only being one of the most notorious movies to be caught by the UK's 'video nasties' crackdown in the early 1980s, but was also the only one of those films where the distributers were actually sent to prison for it. Yeah, scary. Especially when the film is little more than your run-of-the-mill stalk-and-slash.

We follow the misadventures of one George Tatum, who starts off the film in a straightjacket having flashbacks to a bloody axe murder and screaming his head off. Despite this, his doctors decide that he is 'cured' and 'reprogrammed' and let him out, whereupon he heads straight to a peepshow, has a fit (complete with half a tube of toothpaste foaming from his mouth) and then sets off on a cross-country trip to stalk and kill a young family. Said young family has troubles of its own in the form of one of their kids, an annoying little snot named CJ who loves to cause trouble and upset everyone around him.

In the end, we discover that all of George's mental problems stem from his walking in on his parents indulging in a little S&M when he was a child (although I truly believe that the shirt and bow-tie the kid was wearing had to contribute something too) and performing his best Lizzie Borden impression on them... and then CJ shoots him with a handy rifle to stop him from terrorizing his family any more (because that's CJ's job!). But wait! There's one final revelation...


Jul. 28th, 2007 11:16 pm
sareini: default (Default)

I hate my broadband provider.

I don't know the reason - and let's face it, with Virgin Media it could be anything from rain damage to dead hamster in the server vents to someone spilling coffee over the server - but my internet access disappeared at about twenty past six. It came back about ten minutes ago, but of course that's not going to be much use for the five hours of posts I've now missed.

I'm trying to catch up on my mail and stuff right now so I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but the possibility of suing Richard bloody Branson is high in my mind right now (although to be honest, I often think about making Mr. Branson's life awkward when my internet futzes up).

Damn damn damn damn.
sareini: default (B5 - 15 things)

There's always been a bit of confusion over just what sub-genre of horror this movie fits into, it seems to me. Some people seem to think that it should be classed as a zombie movie, despite there not being any living dead shambling around the place, while a couple of people even compared it to Day of the Triffids when it first came out, which is a stretch at the best of times.

The best sub-genre it fits into, in my oh-so-humble opinion, is post-apocalyptic horror.

So, Cillian Murphy wakes up naked in a deserted London hospital with no idea of what's going on. As it turns out, while he's been sleeping Britain's been ravaged by a virus which leaves people with weird red eyes and in a permanent state of rage, and he's one of the very few people left uninfected. So as you'd expect he teams up with the few other survivors he meets and sets out to find a safe place to hide out in, dodging all their various enemies along the way.

For me, the scenes of the deserted London (and other parts of the UK) were what made the film, because having seen them myself under 'normal' circumstances makes their looted, post-rioted and utterly empty scenes even more shocking...
sareini: default (Angry Princess (one))

This is the slasher movie that spawned all the other slasher movies. And it's Italian, so it's got a mostly incomprehensible plot to go with it.

So, as basically as I can: Just about everyone we meet in this film is after a bay which is a prime piece of land for development, bugs, octopi and other stuff. So it's got something for everyone. The bay was owned by an elderly countess, but we see her get bumped off at the beginning of the movie (by her husband, who's promptly killed by someone else!), so now everyone is running around trying to claim the bay for themselves and, in most cases, killing anyone in their way.

The key scene in this movie, horror-movie hisotory-wise, is a scene where two teenage lovers are pinned to a bed with a spear whilst in flagrante delecto. If you know your stuff (or are just obsessed like I am), you'll know that this was the scene which was (in)famously aped in Friday the 13th Part 2... Yes, Mario Bava was about a decade or so too early, but he still managed to do his bit in shaping the modern slasher movie...


Movie Quote:

“You, lighten up. You, big trouble. You, get in the car.”
sareini: default (Angela)
(Ok, change of plan. I can't keep up the 'voices' for the cats, so I'm going to have to revert to more 'generic' movie reviews. Gah, but really, trying to have cats discuss movie theory was always going to be difficult.)

So. Back when it was still a relative novelty for movies to be based on stuff that Stephen King wrote, this movie came out and scared the crap out of everyone who's ever believed that their kids are plotting to kill them. Because apparently they are.

A small farming town in Nebraska gets taken over by its moppets, who are being led by a creepy-child preacher who claims to have a direct line to "He Who Walks Behind the Rows". They kill all the adults one Sunday after church - but no-one outside the town notices this for three years, when a young couple passing through the area think they hit and kill an escaping child.

The creepy thing about this film is the fact that, right up until the end, it could really go either way as to whether there is some sort of supernatural influence in the town, or if the kids are just crazy and/or being influenced by creepy-child preacher Issac...


Quote for the half-hour:

“Certainty of death, small chance of success. What are we waiting for?”
sareini: default (American gods - riding the lightning)
Poor Mummy. She hasn't been sleeping well lately, and I think it's getting to her now. She keeps closing her eyes and looking like she's going to nod off - so I'm being helpful and nosebutting her whenever she does, to keep her awake. I think she needs to eat some cheesecake.

This is a simple movie to describe: There's someone going round in a funny costume and killing people. But apparently this was a really important movie for horror films, because it 'reinvented the genre' (that's what Mummy says, anyway, or at least she says that other people said it). Everyone in the film makes fun of the situation they're in, and I suppose it does seem funny because I don't think this sort of thing happens outside of the movies.

In the end though, it still seems to be a lot like most of the other movies Mummy watches, just with more talking. Which makes it a little boring.


Quote! I didn't forget it this time!

“We’re on an express elevator to hell. Going DOWN!”
sareini: default (American Gods - organising gods/cats)
Jelli here again. Mummy asked if I could mention another blogger in this entry who's doing good things, so I'm pointing out Feral, Not Homeless. They're blogging for a charity which looks after feral cats - cats who don't live with owners because they like living outside or they're not good with people. When I was a stray cat I knew some feral cats, and they were very nice and really deserve to be looked after, even if they aren't all fluffy and cuddly like certain other stinky kitties who will remain nameless...

This is a very strange movie. It's about a man who's a private detective who gets hired by a mysterious man to find someone who disappeared several years ago and owes the mysterious man something important. So the detective goes looking for the man and finds all sorts of voodoo stuff and black magic. It all gets very confusing at the end, as it turns out that no-one is who they said they were or who they even thought they were, but Mummy and Daddy both like it so it must be good (Mummy and Daddy rarely agree on films, because Mummy likes stuff with zombies and stuff and Daddy likes what Mummy calls 'teen comedies').


And unlike my brother, I don't forget the movie quote!

“Well of course. It’s far too dangerous to jump through fire with your clothes on.”
sareini: (air kanji)
I forgot the movie quote! Sorry!

“In Italy under the Borgias, they had warfare, bloodshed and tyranny but what did that produce? Michaelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had democracy. Five hundred years of peace and brotherly love. What did that produce? The cuckoo clock. Goodnight Howard.”

Now Jelli can stop glaring at me...
sareini: (air kanji)
Hi! Mac again. Mummy says that we should use this post to quickly mention someone else who's doing this Blogathon for the PDSA, which means she's a wonderful person too! Her journal's called Black Doggerel, and you can find it here. Yay!

Mummy doesn't have a picture for this movie, which she is a little confused over, but she's still waking up so it's okay.

This is a movie about vampires, only they aren't vampires that wear silly long capes and speak with funny accents and live in old castles with a lot of bats. These vampires drive around in a camper van and are really just like regular people - except, you know, the bit where they catch fire if they go out in daylight, which must really hurt and stuff, and the blood drinking.

Anyway, this regular non-vampire person gets turned into a vampire by accident by one of them, and he has to go with them, but he doesn't really want to and there's a lot of shouting and fighting. The vampires are nice sometimes, and bad other times, like in one bit of the film where they go into a bar and kill everyone there in icky ways.

Mummy says that the movie was special because they didn't actually call the vampires 'vampires' in it. I don't really understand that because I thought you could tell if someone was a vampire because they would drink other people's blood and that's what these people were doing... I don't understand humans. And I don't think I understand vampires either. Or cannibals.

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